


Wronged by Fruit but Healed by You

by soysauceanon



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Canon Compliant, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Men of Letters Bunker, Team Free Will, Unbeta'd, Watermelons, and then it got weirder, idk it started weird
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-31
Updated: 2016-07-31
Packaged: 2018-07-28 12:34:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7640320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soysauceanon/pseuds/soysauceanon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cas doesn't like watermelon. That's honestly about the extent of it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wronged by Fruit but Healed by You

They’re in the produce section when Dean starts to suspect that perhaps not all the present parties are on the same page vis-à-vis _the best fruit in the world._  

“Buy one get one watermelons! Let’s fill the cart!” he shouts. He honestly shouts it. It’s possible that several people turn around to get a glimpse of the nutcase trying to take over the world one melon at a time, but Dean likes watermelon and he’ll happily declare it to the whole world for no reason at all. He likes it so much, in fact, that it never crossed his mind that there might be people who don’t enjoy a slice or ten. Who, for example, if offered some, would politely decline rather than stealthily plotting how to sneak more. Who, for some truly mind-boggling reason, do not seem at all excited by the blessed bounty that is BOGO watermelon at the discount supermarket.

 Sam, predictably, just rolls his eyes and walks away to make out with some lettuce or something, but more startlingly, Cas merely responds with a small “hmm.” It’s such an unenthusiastic noise that to classify it as noncommittal would be to commit a crime of over-generosity.

 “What’s the matter, Cas, you don’t like watermelon?”

Cas lifts his nose airily and picks at a spot on his shirt. “I’m sure it has many excellent qualities. As you know, I would never disparage something my Father created,” he answers, in a tone that suggests that at some point Cas was made to witness a rogue gang of watermelons lighting kittens on fire and dancing gleefully in the debris.  And as Dean knows _very_ well, Cas is more than content to disparage aspects of creation when it serves his own selfish purposes, but he lets that slide.

“You know you gotta cut it open, right?” Dean asks. Cas just stares expressionlessly back at him and doesn’t say anything. Dean tries, like always, to win the impromptu staring contest, but after 14 seconds he has to blink and look away. (He could never actually beat Cas, but he thinks he’s improving anyway, and don’t let anyone ever tell you that Dean isn’t all about the little things in life.) “I’m just saying," he continues, "you can’t approach every fruit like an apple, you know? Bananas, oranges, pomegranates...there’s a learning curve, Cas.”

“I know perfectly well how fruit works, thank you Dean,” sniffs Cas.

 Dean doesn’t bother to hide his smirk as he loads 4 watermelons into the cart.

\----

That night Dean serves a watermelon salad with dinner. Sam, despite his reaction in the grocery store, is actually a watermelon supporter, and eats his portion barely taking notice of what it is, as Dean had known he would. Cas, however, stares at the salad for a minute before sliding all the watermelon to one side with his fork.  Dean rolls his eyes and dutifully reaches over to spear some of the rejected fruit onto his own fork.

“Have you ever even tried it, Cas?” he slurps around a mouthful. “It’s kind of amazing.”

“Yes.” answers Cas shortly. “I didn’t enjoy it.”

Dean reaches over and pats Cas’s arm. “Do you need to talk about it?” he whispers with mock sincerity.

Cas shrugs his arm off. “No.”

 “C’mon, Cas. Let the healing begin.”

“No.”

“Air your grievances.”

“Shut up, Dean.”

“I hereby call this shrink session between you and the watermelon to order.”

“Dean," cuts in Sam, "that makes no sense."  

“Please, Sam, have some respect, this is a very difficult time for Cas. He was once horribly wronged by a watermelon and I’m trying to give him his life back.”

Sam opens his mouth to reply, but Cas beats him to it.

“I just don’t like it,” he says firmly, like he’s trying very hard to stay calm but the infuriating nature of watermelon is thwarting his best attempt. “It’s sticky and drippy, and there are too many seeds to navigate, and it has the mealy texture of a waterlogged apple that a worm has already had its way with. I don’t understand why anyone would want to put that in their mouth!”

Silence follows the outburst. Sam looks down at the piece of watermelon that was halfway to his mouth and the slowly returns it to his plate. Dean starts clapping. 

“Cas, buddy,” he says sweetly, “I just want you to know that I’m here for you in this difficult time.” He pauses to place one hand across his heart, and uses his free hand to seize one of Cas’s. He takes a deep breath. “I also think you should know that there’s no time like the present to get over it, because we’re having watermelon for dessert. And breakfast. And probably all the snacks in the next few days, I mean I bought _four_ , for christ sakes. You gotta do your part or I’ll have to assign you extra chores. Sorry, I don’t make the rules.”

“Well, actually you _do_ make the rules,” says Sam, “it’s just that no one listens to them because you make stupid rules.”  

Cas tries to pull his hand away. “Let go of me, Dean.”

Dean, however, does not let go. Instead he clambers clumsily onto Cas’s lap and plants a loud messy kiss right onto his ear. 

“I hate when you do brain tickles,” complains Cas, but he’s definitely fighting a smile, so Dean doesn’t relent. He licks Cas’s nose, and then peppers his face with messy, sticky kisses.

“Gross!” shouts Cas through his laughter. “Get off me. You’re a savage. You deserve a cave dwelling. I’m confiscating all your watermelon.”

Dean pulls back with an exaggerated gasp. “Treachery!” he cries. “And to think, I trusted you! _I let you into my bed!_ ” 

Cas’s eyes sparkle as he grins. “First mistake Winchester.” He wraps his hand around Dean’s neck and pulls him in for a kiss.

From behind them, Sam sighs, wearily. “Well. I’m still here. But past experience tells me you don’t really care.” He pauses. “Okay. I’ll do the washing up, how about that.” Still nothing. “I’m totally gonna get a dog,” he grumbles.

At this, Dean decides to take a quick break from Cas’s mouth. “Aww, c’mon Sammy,” he chides. “Don’t put yourself down like that! Look, yes, it’ll be a challenge, but I’m sure we can find a girl for you to kiss so you don’t have to settle for a dog!”

  
Sam flips him off as he walks to the kitchen, but Dean doesn’t see, as he’s happily reattaching his lips to Cas’s.

**Author's Note:**

> I like to think that Sam went into the kitchen, cut open a watermelon, mashed it up and then went back into the dining room and poured it over our lovebirds. But i didn't really feel like working that into the story, so I'm just telling you. Samuel's revenge. Which might backfire because then Dean would probably drag Cas off to shower together. Poor Sam.


End file.
